"A wink is as good as a nod . . ."
What
it means: "I'm going to understand much of what you say, even if you don't know
what you mean and don't say it well, and I expect you to extend the same offer
as well as accept mine."
Or does it? It depends on what you mean by "wink,"
"nod," and "as good as," among other considerations. "Nod" is a good deal less
difficult than "wink," since there is a quick toehold in the commonly used non-voluntary
version of the latter: "blink," I think. Blink, and almost everything else
is not wink, obviously. Not so, nod: everything else is not nod.
See? Easy.
Come on! Not to put too fine a point on it, what is
the "blink" equivalent for "nod"? See?
So we're considering a pair of
variously determined phenomena that may or may not be as good as one another.
"As good as." Is it a matter of having equal functionality, sufficiently similar
effect on a recipient, or simple interchangeablity for the giver? Where does the
definitive power lie, in the winkee/noddee, or the winker/nodder?
Or are
we talking virtue here? A nod is more virtuous than a wink, surely. Eh?
Are angels flitting around Heaven winking, or are they nodding? You'll undoubtedly
find your trusted resources silent on this momentous issue.
(Whatever
Google says is all right with me)
(As long as the numbers are there, naturally)
A nod is pretty easy to define: up and down, pivoting, gross head motion,
right? Amplitude and rate could be modified, and that's about it. Dull stuff,
certainly. (No mention of "Duck job" will be entertained. Pivot. Get it?)
But what about a wink? For a start, we might notice there are two eyes that could
wink. Might even declare that a wink involves but one eye at a time, and while
blinks could happen to either eye independently, a two-eye open-close is by definition
a blink.
OK, one eye at a time. Does it matter which? You know about right-brain,
left-brain, right? You also know about the criss-cross of control between the
left and right sides of the brain and the sides of the body, left? So, is one's
choice of eye to wink dependent on -brainedness, and is the -brainedness determined
in the physical or psychological brain or at the peripheral (eyelid) (or groin)?
Is an habitual left-eye winker telling us something we might want to know about
his/her honesty, integrity, sexual preference, favorite color? Does "left" mean
"left" or "right" in wink language (don't forget that crossover!)? And vice
versa?
But that is not the biggest problem: What about squint?
I mean, I know people who squeeze and unclench one side of their face so an eye
kind of closes and opens, and they call that a wink! Horrors! The real
winkers pop that lid up and down monumentally independent of any other muscular
involvement, voluntary or otherwise. You can actually hear them suckers pop closed
and open. Snap! Now, that's a wink!
(And if you want an early peek,
I think a wink is better than a nod. More later. Maybe not.)
(My
most intelligent friend, verified by comparative IQ, TAT, and TMAS tests, is an
accomplished winker. Picture this serene female face, eyes closed, directly ahead
of you. One eye opens, the eyeball rotated fully, looking to the outside edge
of her head. That open eye rotates fully to the bridge of her nose. As it clicks
smartly closed, the other eye pops open, its gaze fully rotated to the nose bridge.
It rotates fully to the outside edge of her head, and that lid slams shut. Now
do it the other direction with both eyes open from the git. Man, that took a lot
of practice.)
Do you think the face-squeeze winkers know they are
actually winkless wonders? Are they embarassed? (Try to translate that
into the realm of nod!) Is it impolite to ignore their affliction, or rude to
comment on it? Will they ever get better if they don't suffer? (I can hear you
nodding) When will they start getting better parking places?
Then we have
to consider the Tourrette winkers. All uncontrolled and random, winking and blinking,
blinking and winking. Do they know it is an affliction? Or is it a gift?
Is Peter Lorre bug-eyed in his grave? (I can't hear your nods. You must be shaking
your head. Is a nod as good as a shake? Next courtesy chapter of Flotsam Lane
. . . Maybe not.)
Eye guest ouinks is best then naughds? Their much bester.
Nudge nudge.
Frank "Up.Your.Nose.With.A.Tiquing.Eyelid.BEHIND.Your.Eyes"
S
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technicolor mind-yawn with no redeeming qualities (but it _qualifies_, don't it)>
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